Baxter and Bunny

Married for two and a half years, you’re still deeply in love with your husband Baxter. How not? He’s charming, handsome, funny, rich, and honest. He opens car doors for you and defends you from your mean twin brother Terrence the Terrible, a bitter man who never really liked either of you. Baxter adores and accepts you even though your body is slightly on the plump side (as a poet you much prefer the words "Rubenesque," or "voluptuous") and your breasts are too small. After your honeymoon the two of you quickly develop romantic rituals, like his leaving you love messages written in mirror steam, and you tucking suggestive Post-Its into his polished size-11 Rockports. Every Wednesday night you both come home from work by 7:00 to eat takeout sushi by candlelight and then make sweet love. There’s no way to be absolutely sure, since he’s your very first lover, but you think his penis is enormous. You feel honored that he chose you. You can’t be happier with your life.

And then things change.

First, he begins to seem distracted. He forgets to open doors for you.

Then, his notes in the bathroom mirror change from "I love you!" to practical sentiments such as "Please pick up dry cleaning, thx!"

Then, when he calls you Wednesday afternoon to let you know he’ll be working late and will have to skip the sushi ritual, you feel a suspicious dread chilling your heart. While you both are on the phone, you hear intimate feminine giggling. He says it’s his new desk radio.

You don’t believe him. You want to trust him, but you feel torn.

Choose:

A) Believe the love of your life!
B) Start snooping.